Simple Kind of Life
by cvreitzer
Summary: Hawke never wanted to be a fighter. All she ever wanted was a simple kind of life. Fenris is determined to give her that dream.
1. Chapter 1

_**Special thanks to Ariinya14. You really helped me out by editing it. I'm sorry it took me so long to get it posted.**_

-0-0-0-

Abby looked around at the blood and broken bodies and wanted to weep. She glanced at her companions, relieved none were looking at her. She needed a moment to compose herself after another pointless battle. How many were dead now because of her? How many more would be before her luck finally ran out?

"Abby?" Fenris asked coming closer to her, his eyes full of concern. Apparently she'd not masked herself as well this time. She forced a smile that she hoped would convince him that she was fine.

They had only recently reconnected after their three year separation. He was much sweeter and more attentive towards her, even in public, but he wouldn't understand what she was going through. None of her friends would.

They all expected her to be the Champion. The mighty and crafty rogue who'd bested the Arishok, who laughed in the face of danger, and who lived for the next adrenaline fueled battle. She had a secret that she couldn't share with any. She hated all the fighting. She'd never wanted to be the fighter she'd become. She'd always dreamed of a nice and safe life. But she'd been forced to put aside her dreams a long time ago.

She had to be the brave one for her family, the one to make the hard choices, the big sacrifices. To keep them safe, she'd have done anything, including becoming the master fighter she was today. Fighting came easily for her. She was good at it, a natural as her father had once called her. It didn't mean she liked it though. Necessity had forced her hand, and she'd refused to complain about it. It was just how it was, she'd always thought. Someday it would be different, she had promised herself, but it never was.

As she'd met her friends, she'd had to fight for them as well. Isabela was being hunted. Varric was always finding some sort of trouble for them. Merrill was a magnet for demons. Anders was a constant source of worry with too many enemies to count. Sebastian needed help with his family assassins or with protecting the Chantry. Aveline had enemies of her own and liked to call on Abby when she needed an extra hand or something outside of the guards realm. And Fenris had been hunted by slavers and a magister. Though they'd finally stopped that.

She liked to help people, she really did. She just was so very tired of it all. She wanted that life that others had. She wanted a chance to do something other than fight.

"What's wrong? Are you injured?" Fenris asked lightly touching her shoulder as he ran his eyes over her. She was covered in blood, but as far as he could tell, none of it was her own.

"I'm fine." She said, glancing away as she did. Fenris knew she wasn't being truthful, but he understood not wanting to talk in front of the others. "I just want to go home and get cleaned up." She wrinkled up her nose as she moved closer to him. "Blood is so difficult to get out of this fur lined armor you know."

"Want a hand with it all?" He asked cutting his eyes to her. He still asked to be invited over even though he was basically living with her now. Neither of them were sure how to broach the subject of a permanent solution to their living arrangements, each fearing the other wasn't ready for that sort of commitment.

"Me or my armor?" She asked, her eyes sparkling with mischief. He loved when she had that look. It was rare to see her happy lately. He wasn't sure what to do to make it better, but he desperately wanted to.

"I did say with it all."

"Hmm. I think that I could definitely use a hand. Or two." She said biting her lip as he gave her that special smile that was hers alone.

"What luck that I have two who love to be of use to you."

-0-0-0-0-

Fenris waited until they were retiring for the night before he decided to find out what had been bothering Abby. She was quieter than normal. He turned to her as soon as they were shut up in her room.

"You're so tense, Fenris. Do you want me to give you a massage?" She asked as he pulled her to him.

"Yes…no." He said wavering in his resolve. He craved her touch, but he didn't want to be distracted. He had little doubt that's what she was doing right now. Abby did not like to have serious conversations. Fenris had noticed that she hated confrontations. Which, in his mind, seemed a direct contradiction to the life she lived. "I was thinking we could talk instead."

"We can talk while I rub your back." She insisted. She had been sure she'd got away with her slip earlier when he'd not brought it up again. She should have known better. Fenris was nothing if not patient.

Fenris pulled her to the bed, forcing her to sit beside him. "I want to know what was wrong earlier. You looked so sad. I've not seen you look that defeated since…" He trailed off because the last time he'd seen her that defeated had been when he'd left her.

She sighed and tried to find something to tell him. "I was just tired."

"It was more than just that."

"I was just tired. I'm tired of it all. Aren't you?" She asked as she got up to pace.

"You're tired of all of us?" Fenris asked feeling like the rug had been pulled out from under him again. He'd just started to really think about what it was he wanted to do with his new life and freedom, and now she was going to ask him to leave.

"No!" She said quickly and moved to kneel at his feet. She clasped his hands in hers and looked up at him. "You are my only bright spot in this mess. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here with me." She pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

"Then what are you tired of?" He asked as relief coursed through him.

"The constant fighting. What is really being changed? Bandits come back, new gangs pop up, templars abuse mages, mages turn to blood magic and demons. Nothing changes!"

"I thought you said not all mages turned to blood magic." Fenris said frowning at her. He wasn't sure what this outburst was really about, but Abby was a staunch believer in the mages needing a better lot than they had.

"Leave it to you to focus on that." She shook her head and got up to pace again. "I know that not all mages turn to blood magic. I'm not saying I've changed my mind. I'm just saying I'm tired of the fighting."

"But aren't you fighting to change that?"

"But I don't want to fight anymore!" She protested angrily as she leaned on her window sill, resting her head against the cool glass.

"It seems a little late for you to decide this now." He said confused by her anger. She had been fighting since the day he'd met her. She'd never wavered in doing what she thought was right or needed to be done. He'd often wondered why she continued as she did, but he'd decided it was just who she was.

"I never wanted this life!" She blurted out and realized she'd said too much.

They fell silent as each tried to think of what to say or do next. Fenris had never thought about her not wanting this life. He hadn't realized that she was sort of trapped by it. As he thought about it he realized she was as much a slave to this life as he'd been to Danarius.

He'd been bound by laws that kept him bound to his mage master. But she was bound by chains much more permanent and heavy. She was bound by her love and compassion.

He'd always known that she'd have done anything for her family. She loved them so much and only wanted to see them happy and safe. Then as she'd met each of her companions, she'd added them to what she considered her family. Each time something happened, she'd taken it as a personal failure on her part. She'd never been able to see that she couldn't single handedly prevent everything bad from happening to everyone of them.

"What life did you want?" Fenris finally asked watching her as her shoulders drooped.

"A simple kind of life." She answered after a moment.

"And what is a simple kind of life?" He pressed as she fell quiet.

"A life that doesn't involve so much fighting. Actually a life free from fighting would be ideal. I'd like a quiet little home somewhere. Maybe a few kids someday. I'd like…" She trailed off and took a breath. She was in this far, may as well confess it all, she thought. "Don't laugh, but I've always wanted a bit of land. I used to love our little farm. The work there was so satisfying. One time we went to Rainesfere. Have you heard of it?" She asked glancing at him. He shook his head. "It's a small bannorn in Ferelden. They have the most amazing apple orchards. We spent a summer there while Father filled an order for the bann. I fell in love with the orchards. I used to dream that someday I'd have my own. I'd grow apples, make cider and pies. I want to work the land and tend the trees. I want that peaceful, simple life." She sighed and turned back to the window. "I know it's silly, especially coming from Kirkwall's Champion, but that's what I wanted." As silence fell again, she turned back to face him and found him looking thoughtful instead of the disgust, worry, or worse the laughter she'd thought she'd see.

"It's not silly at all." He said after a moment.

"You don't think so?"

"I like apples."

"Don't make fun of me!" She said as he smiled.

"I'm not. I was hoping to make you smile. I'm still not very good at this comforting thing." He assured her as he moved to take her hands. "A life away from all this madness sounds wonderful. Perhaps someday we can find peace somewhere. Together." He said and watched her, waiting for her reaction.

"I find a bit of peace here whenever you're with me." She answered feeling relief that he'd not only accepted her dreams, but he wanted a peaceful life too.

"Then let us find some peace in each other's arms." He whispered as he lowered his head to kiss her. She was more than ready to let the conversation go and melted into his embrace.

Later after she'd fallen asleep, Fenris watched her. He hated to see her upset. He hated to think that he'd bound her to this life as much as the rest had. If he had to spend the rest of his life freeing her from her chains, he'd do it. Somehow he was going to find a way to make her dream a reality.


	2. Chapter 2

Abby glanced up as the door opened. She did this every time the door opened. Normally she was disappointed, but not today it seemed.

"You're back!" Abby cried and rushed into Fenris' arms. He lifted her up and spun her a moment. He'd missed her fiercely, but the time away was going to be worth it. He sat her feet back on the ground and kissed her soundly despite the fact she wasn't alone.

"Don't mind us or anything." Nate said with a sigh, working on not grinning at them. He'd come to care a great deal about his soon to be sister-in-law and her elven lover. He was glad that they seemed as happy as Bethany and he were. All of them needed to find happiness after the rough few years they'd all endured.

Kirkwall had ended in a disaster. Anders had blown up the chantry, killing many in the process. He'd forced the mages to take a stand, and forced Meredith to call for the Rite of Annulment. Only Abby and the companions had been able to stop it, sparing as many mages as they could from the death Meredith longed to give them.

After the death of Meredith, the rebellions spread like wildfire. The companions had been forced to split up. They were being hunted by templars and Sebastian. Only Fenris had stayed with Abby.

King Alistair had offered Abby protection from the chantry when she'd first run as had her cousin, Solona Amell who was the current Teryna of Gwaren as well as the king's chancellor. At first, they'd refused and just roamed, but after a time Abby was ready to return home. Especially when Bethany had left the Wardens and gotten engaged to Nate, a former Warden and now Bann of Amaranthine.

"I for one am glad to see it." Bethany said with a smile as she took Nate's hand. She was so happy for her sister. They knew what Fenris had been up to. Bethany couldn't wait for Abby to find out.

"Cutting it a bit close, aren't you?" Nate asked him with an arched brow.

"As if I'd miss your wedding." Fenris scoffed. He smiled at Abby. "Sorry I'm late. It took longer than I expected."

"Just tell me you aren't going to have to go off again, and I'll forget all about it." Abby said. She wasn't sure what Fenris was up to. He'd started going off for a few weeks at a time, leaving Abby with Bethany for months now. When she'd pressed him about it, he'd simply said he'd found some work that he was taking care of. She'd wanted to know what he was doing, but she was still afraid he'd leave her again so she never pushed him too much about anything.

"I won't be leaving without you again." He promised.

"Then it's all forgotten." She said and kissed him again. "As much as I'd like to continue this. I have a bride to tend to. So can we continue this tonight?" Abby asked smiling up at him.

"And for the rest of our lives." He whispered to her.

-0-

It was late as Abby and Fenris made their way back to their room. The wedding had been beautiful. Abby had felt such joy as she'd handed her sister over to a beaming Nate. Bethany had always feared no one would or could love her, but there was Nate waiting to spend the rest of his life loving her.

"Today has been exhausting." Abby sighed as she leaned on Fenris' arm.

"It has been a long day." He agreed. "Are you alright?" He asked as he noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Sorry." She said and wiped at her eyes. "I just keep thinking how much Mother would have loved this. I wish she could have been here today."

"I'm sure she's watching."

"And wishing we'd gone with a different color or Bethany had worn her hair different." Abby smiled up at him.

"I'm sure she'd have been pleased with it." He said as they reached the door to their suite. He was only slightly listening to Abby right now. He was far too nervous.

"If you say so." Abby laughed and opened the door. She moved straight to the vanity and began removing her jewels and taking her hair down. "Orlesian slippers were designed by demons. My feet are killing me." She said and kicked off the offending heels.

"I'll gladly rub them for you." Fenris offered looking at her bewildered. She'd just walked right by the bed.

"You're a saint, Fenris." She said as she began to brush her hair out. She put the brush down and moved to the changing screen. "Bethany and Nate are going to be gone for a month on their honeymoon. And when they get back they will need time to establish themselves as a married couple. So I was wondering if you might like to go someplace else for a while."

"I'll go anywhere with you." Fenris said and moved to the bed. He looked down at his handy work and wondered if it was foolish. He wasn't too sure how to do romantic gestures, but Varric's letter had assured him this would work. But she'd walked right by it.

He glanced around at the lit candles, the bottle of wine, and rose petals on the bed. It was stupid. He should be glad she'd not noticed it yet. He panicked as he heard her finishing undressing and quickly tried to gather up the petals. He scooped them up and tried to find some place to put them. He finally tossed them over his shoulder as her dress was tossed over the top of the screen. He blew out the candles and glanced around.

He bit back a snarl as he saw the petals had scattered everywhere now. He quickly kicked at them, trying to shove them behind the dresser. They weren't cooperating with him and kept fluttering around or sticking to things.

"I know that you've been gone for a while and all, but I'm so tired. Do you think we can celebrate your return in the morning?" Abby asked.

"Anything." He said as he scrambled around on his knees trying to capture the frustrating petals.

"Are you alright? You sound…what are you doing?" Abby asked as she peeked around the screen. Fenris was on his hands and knees shoving what looked like rose petals under the dresser. She moved closer as he froze in place. She plucked a rose petal from his hair and looked at him in question. She saw the candles and the bottle of wine and arched a brow at him. "Am I being seduced?"

"Seduced? No, I…" He glanced at the bed and saw he'd forgotten the most damning piece of the whole thing. The ring was sitting on her pillows, a couple of stray petals beside it.

"Oh, Fenris, I'm sorry! Here I am whining about achy feet and you're being unbelievably sweet." She pulled him to his feet and cupped his face in her hands. "Can you forgive me for being clueless?"

"All forgiven." He said and shifted slightly. Maybe he could get the ring before she saw it. It wasn't that he didn't want to propose to her, it was just never the right time or the right way. This was certainly not it.

He should never have thought to do it tonight. He'd just thought that with her sister's life being secure and settled that it was the perfect time. He'd not counted on demon designed shoes or dancing until the wee hours of the morning.

"I think I might have over exaggerated my exhaustion. I'm fairly certain I can give you the attention you deserve." Abby said and shoved him back onto the bed. He reached for the ring at the same time she saw it. She gasped and looked at him. He looked panicked.

She froze as she recognized the look he had. It was the same one he had each time he ran. She couldn't breath as pain squeezed her chest violently. Not tonight, not now, not like this, she thought.

"You don't have to…I shouldn't have done this…we've never discussed us in this sort of context and…" Fenris wasn't sure what to say. His heart was broken at the look of sheer terror in her eyes. He should have known she wouldn't want to marry him. He looked down at the ring and wondered if all his hard work had been for nothing.

She took a breath and tried to make sense of his broken words. "Are you wanting to ask me or not wanting to ask me?"

"I've been trying to ask you for a year now. It's never been the right time and you know I'm no good with grand gestures. I foolishly thought now that Bethany was settled maybe now…" He glanced at her then. She'd grown pale and was shaking slightly. He had a flash of the night he'd left her. She'd looked at him the same way.

"Yes." She said quickly.

"What?" He asked.

"I want to marry you." She said and took a step towards him.

"You do?" He asked looking at her hopefully.

"Very much so." She nodded, tears coming to her eyes. He stood quickly and pulled her into his arms. They shared a kiss as they began to laugh in relief. "I thought you'd changed your mind about me. I thought you were going to run." She said.

"I thought you were going to tell me you didn't want to get married." Fenris said. He remembered the ring and quickly put it on her finger. Abby looked down at the large diamond and emerald ring.

"It's beautiful, but you didn't have to go to so much trouble for me. I'd have been happy with just your vows."

"I wanted you to have something worthy of you. I remember you said you liked emeralds best so I tried to keep that in mind as I hunted for the ring."

"Is this what you've been up to? Have you been working to get me the ring?"

"It is part of it." He said and gave her that beautiful smile she loved so much, his emerald eyes lighting up with joy.

"And the rest?" She pressed.

"You'll see." He said and tossed her onto the bed. "I do believe I said I'd rub your feet."

"Screw my feet, I want to celebrate my fiancé coming home." She said and pulled him into the bed with her.

"I'm not so sure how one would go about screwing another's feet, but if that's really what you want, I will try to." He smirked at her.

"Shut up and kiss me, fool."

"Only just engaged and you're already bossing me around and calling me names." He laughed, but happily complied with her demands.


	3. Chapter 3

"Where are we going?" She asked for the hundredth time. Fenris had been infuriatingly quiet about it all. He'd even not allowed her to ride her own horse. He'd put her on his and climbed up behind her. She didn't mind riding with him at all, but she was growing tired of not knowing where they were going.

"You'll see." He said as he'd been saying for two days now.

"Fenris, I really hate surprises."

"Not this one." He promised.

"You are infuriating!"  
>"And you are a brat when you don't get your way." He taunted her. "Now if you don't want me to bind you, you will stop asking questions and just enjoy our time together."<p>

"You wouldn't!" She said shifting so she could glare at him.

"Try me."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "I don't like this at all."

"So you keep saying." He sighed and pulled the horse to a stop.

"What are you doing?" Abby demanded.

"We're almost there. I want it to be a surprise. Let me blindfold you."

"What? No!" She protested.

"Don't you trust me?" He asked giving her the puppy eyes Merrill had once accused him of using. He'd discovered Abby had a weakness to them.

"That's so not fair." She pouted. "How long will I have to wear it?"

"Until I tell you to take it off." He said and quickly tied it on her before she could protest farther. He wrapped his arm around her waist to reassure her he had her and then spurred the horse into a gallop. He knew Abby wasn't going to tolerate much more of this.

It felt like hours later to Abby when he finally pulled the horse to a stop. "Let me get down and then I'll get you down. Do not take off the blindfold." He ordered her. She sighed heavily and sat still until he lifted her off the horse and sat her feet on the ground. "Do you want me to carry you or are you going to let me lead you?"

"Hmm. Be in your arms or risk falling?"

"I would never let you fall." He said but swept her feet out from under her. "Though I do find the appeal of having you in my arms." He carried her to the gate and then sat her feet down. He moved to stand in front of her and removed her blindfold. She blinked until her eyes adjusted and then looked around.

"Where are we? Are we supposed to be here?" She asked eyeing the beautiful cottage. It had a wooden fence all around it. An arbor over the gate was covered with wisteria. Flowers and bushes edged the house and fence.

"I know it's not as grand as your estate in Kirkwall, but I thought that maybe you wouldn't mind this for now. We can always build on as we need or want." He looked at her worriedly as she continued to look puzzled. "Maybe this was foolish. I probably should have let you have a say in this."

"Are you saying this is ours?" She asked looking back at the house in surprise.

"Uh, yes. It's what I've been working on." He said and looked away from her nervously.

"You've been building us a home?" She asked and moved to take his hand.

"Not just a home, Abby, a simple kind of life. Go look out back."

Abby quirked her mouth to the side and followed the path through trees and bushes until she stopped. The house sat on a hill, the back of it showing off a view of a beautiful and well established apple orchard. She turned back to Fenris as he moved beside her.

"You bought me an apple orchard." She said looking at him stunned.

"I bought us an apple orchard." He corrected. "If you don't like it, we don't have to stay. I'm sure Teagan can find a buyer for it." He said after a few moments as she was still staring at him.

"We're in Rainesfere? Fenris, you…" Tears filled her eyes as she thought of the fact despite all the turmoil they'd been through these last couple of years, he'd not only remembered her tale, he'd set out to make her dream a reality.

"Is it not what you wanted? I'm fine with whatever you want so long as we are together. But I thought this is what you wanted." Fenris said unsure what to do about her tears. He'd really thought that she'd be happy about this.

When he'd approached Teagan about buying an orchard, Teagan had offered him a larger manor and large working orchard, but he'd declined it. He'd bought this smaller one that the house had been destroyed in the Blight. He thought Abby would like being able to build it up and run the place themselves better than having the large working one.

He himself had enjoyed working with the crew to build their home with his own hands. He'd poured himself into every aspect of the house from its layout to each level of completion. It was a comfortable and cozy abode complete with every convenience they'd come to enjoy. He thought that this was the simple life she'd wanted, but maybe he was wrong.

"Is this really what you want? Do you really want to get married and settle down?" Abby asked hardly daring to hope that this could really be true.

"I want to marry you. I want to work the land and tend the trees. I want to watch our children grow up in a home we built. I want to eat pies my wife has made. I want a peaceful life to grow old beside the woman I love. No more fighting. No more running. Just a simple life." He said cupping her face in his hands. "So what do you say?"

"It sounds perfect." She said wrapping her arms around his waist. She laid her head against his chest and looked out at the orchard. For the first time in a long time she felt like she could breathe. She was free. No matter what they'd gone through, or how long it had taken to find it, her dream had come true and she was ready to enjoy her simple kind of life.


End file.
